Making Friends As An Adult

Last week I sent out an email about friendships and planning a girls night and so many of you resonated with it, so I wanted to put it here to live forever and I will continually add to it with ideas of how to make friends as an adult. 

The Email

I have had this on my heart for the longest time but I am so afraid that I will embarrass myself.  I would really love your input.
 
So I have in my mind that I want to start a regular girls night. And for some reason the idea of Bunco nights just keeps popping into my head. 
 
But here is the hard part, I don’t have a close group of girl friends.
 
I have a few friends and I think I can put together enough to play bunco (I really don’t know why I am stuck on the idea of bunco), but none of them are a group who cohesively go together you know. 
 
I am afraid that an invite to play bunco will seem lame and everyone else has a close group already. But then I think, I’m a normal 32 year old woman and it interests me, right?
 
I also have an idea to have an adult Easter Egg hunt with like a $5 buy in. Then each egg has a dollar/cents amount (positive or negative) on it and you win the money you find in each egg.  Add margaritas to the mix and this sounds so fun.
 
Are these ideas lame? Would you be excited for an invite like this?  Do I need to get out of my own head? Be honest with me, but not brutal cause this feels vulnerable.
 
 

Your Response

Everyone who responded said DO IT! Send the invite. 

A lot of you also said that you are in the same boat and WISH someone would send the invite. 

What We are Going to Do

I really believe that God keeps putting this on my heart and showing me signs to take action because he wants me to do something about it. Since sending that email I have seen these 3 signs. 

1. Jane Fonda literally says we have to look people in the eye and tell them we want to be friends with them. That feels a little intense for me, but I get the idea here.

2. This conversation was happening in other circles too. Things.I.Bought.and.Liked shared this on her stories the other day. 

I am going to take the advice to invite the moms in Derek’s class out for margaritas after spring break. 

3. And then Jen Reed from The Sister Studio (one of my all time faves) shared this last night.

The idea of making close friends is so exciting and terrifying. And it feels so complex, because I want family friends who we can share life with not just the occasional moms night, ya know. 

And the self conscious side of me says people already have their friend group or they will think I am less worthy/there is something wrong with me for not having friends yet. Intellectually, I know that is silly. And clearly other women are feeling the same as me because this conversation is happening all over the internet. 

I know how good it would make me feel to be invited out, so why not make it so that I am the one making others feel good. 

Poll the People Results

This question was asked for Poll the People (which if you don’t know, it is the game we play on Instagram where you get to ask my audience any question you have and the most amazing community will answer.)

Here’s what our community suggested about making friends as an adult. The * ones are the ones I agree with.

  • Be yourself, be kind, and don’t be afraid to love people
  • *Don’t wait for people to ask you to hang out; text them and invite them over/out
  • Take notes from the kids and just be like “I like this one! Wanna be friends”
  • *Try religious organizations like MOPS or your local MomWalk
  • Try the App Peanut
  • Specific Facebook Groups that cater to your lifestyle
  • *Volunteer any chance you can at school or sports
  • *Talk to the other parents at birthday parties and school events
  • Strike up a conversation at the park or library
  • Join community groups, church groups, and mom groups
  • *Slide into their DMs, but not in a creepy way. Become friends on social media.
  • Genuinely ask people about their life/interests and invite them to do stuff
  • Meetup.com
  • *Be your genuine, unfiltered, honest self. Don’t waste your time with fake friends.
  • Get involved in hobbies you like or take a class – golf, crafts, workout classes
  • Start a supper club or book club. Post on IG or FB and see if anyone is interested

If you are feeling this too;

  1. you aren’t alone
  2. by the end of the month we are BOTH going to invite other women out

If you are someone who has a good group of friends, share your tips in the comments. 

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by emily lawson